Micromanaged
The illusion of the illusion of control
"So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work." – Peter Drucker
We’ve all been there. You might be there right now. Working under a boss who’s micromanaging you. Err. There’s a minority who welcome the safety blanket, but for most people being micromanaged is a tyranny to escape as fast as possible.
It might feel like an overly zealous boss stifles your freedom and creativity, but there’s another way to look at it that might free you from the burden. Quickly too. This conversation will give you a fresh perspective on navigating a micromanaging boss.
Have a good manager already? Instead, maybe you’re dealing with:
Envy in the workplace: Conquering the tendency to envy others' success.
Lack of feedback: Not knowing where you stand or how to improve.
Professional development: No opportunities for learning or skill-building.
SEEKER: I’m at my wit’s end. My boss watches my every move. Every task, every email. It’s like I can’t breathe without her hovering over me. I’m being micromanaged and it’s suffocating. What can I do?
SAGE: Why do you think your boss’s actions bother you so much?
SEEKER: Because it feels like she doesn’t trust me! I’m competent. I’ve proven it. Yet she’s always there, correcting, directing. It’s humiliating.
SAGE: I see. Do you feel her oversight diminishes your worth?
SEEKER: Totally! I can barely handle it.
SAGE: Some people believe we’re all driven by goals. And that those goals are often shaped by how we see ourselves in relation to others. They’d ask: What purpose does your boss’s micromanaging serve? For her, and for you?
SEEKER: For her? Maybe she’s insecure, needs control. For me? I don’t know. It just makes me angry.
SAGE: Anger is a clue. Sometimes emotions like that arise when our goals clash with reality. What’s your goal at work?
SEEKER: To do my job well, to be respected, to have some freedom.
SAGE: Good. Now, does her micromanaging truly stop you from doing your job well?
SEEKER: Not really. I still deliver my work. But the respect and freedom part. She’s stomping all over those.
SAGE: Here’s where I might challenge you. I’d say respect and freedom aren’t given by others, they’re claimed by how you live. Do you wait for her, or anyone else, to grant them?
SEEKER: I suppose I do. I keep hoping she’ll back off if I prove myself enough.
SAGE: And has that worked?
SEEKER: No. If anything, she digs in more.
SAGE: I sometimes call that a “trap,” the belief that someone else must change for you to thrive. I believe we’re not bound by others’ actions, only by the meaning we give them. What meaning do you give her micromanaging?
SEEKER: That I’m not good enough. That I need fixing.
SAGE: And if you chose a different meaning?
SEEKER: Like what?
SAGE: Perhaps: “This is her struggle, not mine.” Alfred Adler’s idea of “separation of tasks” fits here. Your task is to do your work well. Her task is how she manages. Are you responsible for her behavior?
SEEKER: No, I’m not. But it still affects me!
SAGE: It affects your feelings, yes. But does it control your actions? Adler believed we choose our responses. Could you act as if her oversight doesn’t define your worth?
SEEKER: Maybe. I could focus on my work, and give less meaning to her hovering. But won’t that just let her keep doing it?
SAGE: Possibly. Yet Adler would ask: Why is it your job to fix her? If you stop needing her approval, her actions lose power over you. You’d be free. Not because she changes, but because you do.
SEEKER: So I just… accept it?
SAGE: Not passively. Actively. Do your task with excellence, not to prove anything, but because it’s your purpose. Some see life as a dance of contribution, not a battle for validation. What if you focused on contributing instead of waiting for validation?
SEEKER: That sounds hard. But I guess I can see it. Her micromanaging isn’t my burden to carry. I could try focusing on what I control.
SAGE: Exactly. You’re not powerless. You choose your meaning, your response, your contribution. How might you change your approach at work tomorrow?
SEEKER: I’d still do my best, but not add any additional meaning to her hovering.
SAGE: That’s the start you need. It will take some time and practice. So keep going, you can control whether you improve your ability to handle the hovering without it bothering you. Just keep going. How does that sound?
SEEKER: It’s strange. Nothing’s changed, but somehow it feels like something has.
P.S. If you found Anaeo valuable, please subscribe and share a link with your work BFF! It only takes 10 seconds.